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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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The city’s not all hustle, nah. There's the pretty ol’ Parkside Gardens. I love takin’ me break there (even on rainy days, haha) – ya see, where yer toes meet muck an’ yer heart gets lighter. Damnnn, how many times did I nearly slip? Too many, mate. I got scars like medals, if ya catch me drift.

Canopy and culture key elements of City of Stirling forecourt revamp