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So, findin’ a prossie today? Easy-peasy, sorta. You got apps now, man, like secret menus at Krusty Burger. But it’s dicey—cops, creeps, an’ scams. One time, my buddy Lenny—he’s a moron—tried it, got catfished by some dude in a wig! Hella funny, but I was like, “D’oh! Told ya, man!” Gotta be sharp, or you’re toast. “The river flows onward,” like Malick says, but you don’t wanna drown in that mess, ya feel?

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Now lemme spill the tea: I remember one wild night along Riverside Boulevard. The river – I call it Flirtin’ Creek – it flows gently, whisperin’ sweet nothings. I once caught a clandestine kiss right there. Made me laugh, made me blush, and boy, did it make me mad at the world's prudish ways!

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