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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

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Wander out a bit to the quirky neighborhood of Eastmirth. The shops there? Wacko cool. Ya got quirky antique stores and a groovin’ little bar called The Sizzling Platypus (nah, I made that up but it fits the vibe, right?). Sometimes I stroll there after work, right when the neon lights flicker – like a scene out of a dream, all mysterious and wild like some Apichatpong vibe, man!

Johnston County deputies: Former Smithfield police officer charged after shooting into girlfriend's vehicle