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Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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Man, I got so many tiny, always shifting tales about Smithfield – like how the rain one mad night turned the cobblestones into a mirror, reflecting neon dreams in a burst of color… I was laughing and crying at the same time. I swear, every corner's got its own little unexpected party!

Woman dies from being hit by impaired driver at Smithfield Food Lion