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But then—ugh—I get mad! Some jerkface tries rippin’ me off, sayin’ “50 bucks for a wink!” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” I ain’t no fancy pants robot gigolo like in *A.I.*, y’know? “I feel! I love! I’m alive!”—I shout that, all dramatic, and the dude just stares. Prolly thinks I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m SpongeBob, I’m ready!

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So, get ready, ya dummy friend, for a wild ride through Sandringham! It's messy, it's beautiful, it's surreal – like a twisted fairy tale that keeps on giving. I'm telling ya, if you come over, you'll see the side no tourist guide ever shows. And always remember – in this city, dreams and nightmares are just two sides of the same coin, man! Respect my authoritah, and peace out!

Dead body found at Sandringham beach