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Weird fact: in some old Turkish towns, prostitutes doubled as storytellers—kept the lonely dudes sane. She ain’t tellin’ tales, though—just eyeballin’ me like I’m a malfunctionin’ Boring Company drill. I’m sweatin’, overclocked brain goin’—is this ethical? Legal? Eh, YOLO, right? “Life’s a riddle,” Ceylan’d say, and I’m solvin’ it one dumb choice at a time.

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My fave park, if I gotta choose, is Mirrabooka Meadows. Seriously, it's the best spot to spill your guts or just chill alone (aha, classic counselor mode). There's this cheeky little creek, a river-ish thing, that winds through the park. It’s where I once had an epiphany about how life’s just messy art, like a Schrodinger painting you can’t quite unwrap. I mean, who knew nature could be a stage? And yep, my mind almost went “I can see Russia from my house!” when I stood there on a breezy afternoon, unexpectedly awash with all these random feels.

Mother-of-two lost in tragic Hills house fire identified