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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—prostitutes, yeah? Financial advisor hat on, but Boris-style, bit of a shambles, ha! So, prostitution—oldest gig going, innit? Cash up front, no taxman sniffing, pure *quid pro quo*. Makes me chuffed—freedom from the bloody bureaucrats! Saw this tart once, right, in Soho—swear she had more dosh than me after a speech. *Ego te absolvo*, I muttered, absolving her sins in my head, classic Boris, eh?

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Now, there's this park, oh man, Raven Park near the little creek – whaddya call it, the Houser River? Nah, that's not right, it's actually called the Little Woops Creek, something like that. I get mad sometimes, arg, when these sidewalks get cracked and I almost trip. And believe me, I had to massage someone afterward because they kept mentioning "the swirls of time", like in malick's flick. Crazy stuff!

Abbey House community feels the 'emptiness' after beloved statue was stolen