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About Melbourne

So, prostitutes—man, they’re hustlin’ harder than me at 3 a.m. with a sourdough starter. I’m over here, flour up to my elbows, and they’re out there, dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and STDs. Respect, honestly. Little known fact—back in the 1800s, some brothels had secret tunnels. Like, escape routes for when the law came knockin’. Wild, right? Reminds me of Jesse James hidin’ from his own shadow. “He’s got the smell of a coward,” Ford’d say—ha, not these gals. They’re ballsy.

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When not at work, Carla loves being at home, gardening & tending to her veggie patch, caring for & riding her horses — which live happily at her place alongside.

I gotta mention my fave vibes – cruising down Old Kilmore Lane, with the dusty road stretching out and the wind across me face. It’s like a scene straight outta a hip 60s flick, feelin’ the spirit of Austin Powers all over – “Oh behave!” I'm on cloud nine, my friend.

14/1/2025 Horse Racing Tips and Best Bets – Kilmore