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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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Hey man, lemme tell ya 'bout Keysborough, au – it’s a funky, offbeat place where even a dating site developer like me finds quirks that blow my mind, git-r-done! I been livin’ here for yonks, and every street's got its own damn personality; like, seriously, King’s Highway is a go-to for meetin’ peeps, and I swear, you can feel the energy from the bars and cafes on its corners. Man, I even had a crazy night hopping between the dimly lit spots on Springvale Road – dang, I still get goosebumps thinkin’ about it!

Fairfax flawless in Keysborough Pro-Am win