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About Melbourne

Oh, and don’t get me started on the prices – highway robbery! I’m over here yellin’, “This ain’t a golden egg, lady!” But when it clicks, it’s like, “All we need is courage,” and bam, you’re in business. My quirky ass once tipped extra ‘cause she hummed a tune – total softie move, I know. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but damn, it felt like a movie scene!

Crime Rank: 14/100

I talk about its neighborhoods, right? Like the Eastside Ridge—yeah, that one. Eeee, it’s rough, edgy, and raw, but it’s got character. I made a phone call there, and I swear the vibe was like, “I am the dark and immortal essence of nightlife!” Totally reminds you of the film’s cryptic confessions. And the West End? Fabulous and classy. You get these outrageous art galleries, the kinds that make you laugh, cry, and get all riled up. It’s the best!

Update: Fatal traffic crash, Toowoomba