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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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I gotta tell you, sometimes stuff gets me mad here too. Traffic on Main Street, bleh, like a school of sardines jammin’ around. Other times, I'm happy as clam in the sea, mostly when I run into old pals lovin' life and the scantily clad sun (at the local beach-like spot by the river – yeah, people do that here!).

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