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So I’m staggerin’ thru the docks, right? Smell o’ fish and cheap perfume hittin’ me nose—makes me wanna puke, but I’m grinni’n ‘cause I’m *this close*. Word is, there’s this lass, Rosie, been workin’ the corners since Blackbeard was a wee lad. Little known fact, arrgh—she once conned a lord outta his gold teeth! Swapped ‘em fer fakes mid-kiss, the sly minx. I’m laughin’ just thinkin’ bout it—bloody brilliant, that! Makes me happy as a clam at high tide.

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Oh darlin’! I can’t forget the river. The Silverline runs right through the outskirts of Elermore-Vale. I always feel like I’m in one of them artsy films spotin’ hints of divinity in each ripple – just like Malick would have it. When the sunlight hits just right, it’s like – “Oh my stars – that’s the wonder of connection!”

Investigation under way after 'targeted' shooting at Elermore Vale home