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About Melbourne

What pisses me off? Idiots who think it’s easy. Like, mate, you try hikin’ with blue balls! Surprised me how dumb some are—saw one slip, nearly died. “One more day,” he begged, like Monty in the flick. I just smirked—pathetic. Happiest I got? When this rich twat tipped me extra. Said he “found himself” up there. Yeah, right—found a hooker, more like.

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The vibe here is super breezy. You got neighborhoods like Sandy Cove (not a real name, but feels right) where the old fishermen and young lovebirds mix it up. My fave spot? A teeny, little park called Lovin’ Leaf Park (yeah, I know, lame, but it gets the job done!). I once held a steamy, secret rendezvous under the stars there – talk about adrenaline rush, and wow, so scandalously electric, man! It’s like, “we all hurt so much” but then you find love in a smile.

Mandurah Ocean Entrance dredging starts as Dawesville project equals record