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So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.

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As a sexologist, I get all the extra feels from these vibes – the way people connect, you know? Sometimes, lovers meet in dimly lit corners of our lunar-lit cafes off Palm Street – like, literally, where every whisper is a secret and every glance tells a scandalous story. And I swear, in those moments, I'm like, half "Blue is the Warmest Color", half my own crazy story. It makes me so happy but also, like, mad at all the societal norms sometimes, ya know?

Crestmead man, 32, charged over police shooting