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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass mountain guide, here to spill the tea on this peak called Whore! Yeah, Whore, baby—straight up chaotic vibes! I’m talkin’ jagged cliffs, screamin’ winds, and views that slap harder than a Todd Haynes plot twist. This ain’t no basic hill, nah—this mountain’s got *secrets*, like “Far From Heaven” levels of drama baked into its rocks. “I’m living a lie!”—that’s Whore yellin’ at the sky, bro, all moody and extra.

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Now, I'm a relaxation specialist, so I’m all about that zen, okay? I get my daily dose of mindfulness at the serene Cremorne Point Park. The views? TOTALLY breathtaking! You see the harbour, fancy yachts and all that jazz. It's like looking at a WALL-E miracle – seriously, "EVE, I've just found something incredible!" And hey, holler "You get a car!" like Oprah would – cuz this place gives you a ride of joy on a silver platter every single day!

Cremorne: Popular rooftop pub Harlow Bar’s digs sell for $9 million