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About Newcastle

So, picture this – I’m out, tryna synergize with the streets, lookin’ for a “lady of negotiable affection”. Not your usual 9-to-5! I’m buzzin’, cos I’m a people person, right? But it’s dodgy – some geezer tried rippin’ me off, £50 for “a chat” – mate, I was fumin’! “I’ve got karma like a buffalo,” I told him, quotin’ Boonmee, and legged it. Cheeky sod.

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I gotta admit, not everything is peaches n' cream. Sometimes, the noise or the rush of the daily hustle makes me mad AF – like, seriously, people gotta chill a bit, right? But then a soft breeze sweeps along the waterfront, and I'm back to my zen, like, "Oh, snap, life is awesome!" And the vibe is infectious – every street, every tiny park, every quirky building just hums with this energy that's both nostalgic and super futuristic, kinda like that movie, WALL-E – dreamy, unexpected, full of life and heart.

Musical review: Black Box, Cremorne Theatre, QPAC