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Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

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Now, I'm a relaxation specialist, so I’m all about that zen, okay? I get my daily dose of mindfulness at the serene Cremorne Point Park. The views? TOTALLY breathtaking! You see the harbour, fancy yachts and all that jazz. It's like looking at a WALL-E miracle – seriously, "EVE, I've just found something incredible!" And hey, holler "You get a car!" like Oprah would – cuz this place gives you a ride of joy on a silver platter every single day!

Ex Pendal CEO to sell $18m harbour mansion with trophy boatshed