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Little secret, precious—did ya know some prossies got code words? Yeh, like “roses” for cash, sneaky-like. Heard it meself in a dive bar once, bloke mutterin’ “50 roses” an’ I’m thinkin’ he’s buyin’ flowers—ha! Thick as pigshit, I was. Surprised me rotten, that did—thought it was all straight-up hagglin’. Made me chuckle, tho—humans, so bleedin’ clever at bein’ vile.

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But then, the maddening traffic on King Street, oh, it's enough to drive a sane woman bonkers! Like, come on, people, where’s your sense of urgency or calm? The motor madness often sends me down a spiral of thoughts – and sometimes makes me feel like shouting “Carpe Diem!” in true Boris Johnson fashion. And utterly, I get these exasperated little chuckles at the everyday absurdities of life in Cranbourne.

Tunnel testing picks up pace in April