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About Gold Coast

So, where you at? Big city, prolly. Web’s got escorts now, fancy shit. X posts say it’s all “discreet”—yeah, right! Costs like 100 bucks an hour, cheap ones sketchier. I’d be pissed if they scammed me—hate that. “Whoa,” imagine the nerve! Once saw this gal, fishnets, smokin—thought, “She’s got stories.” *Holy Motors* line hits: “What makes me me?” She’s playin a role, like me in *Matrix*. Deep, huh?

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Look, I must drop some low-key deets here: There’s this hidden gem called The Secret Garden near the Solitary River – or somethin’ like that – where you can literally hear every leaf whisper. I used to sneak off there after a tough day at the spa. I’d think, “This is more badass than any Tarantino scene, man!” (Yeah, I mix my movies with my vibes sometimes!) Eat my shorts, seriously!

Five things to see in Coffs Harbour that aren’t the Big Banana