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About Melbourne

We swears! Surprised me once, this one bird—classy, y’know? High heels, talkin’ posh, not yer usual slag. “I’m alive,” she says, like she’s proud, echoin’ Polanski’s man. Got me thinkin’—they’re fighters, ain’t they? Dodgin’ pimps, punters, the law. Me head spins—why’s it gotta be so rough? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like they’re ghosts sometimes, slippin’ through cracks. We swears! Funniest bit? Bloke I knew paid double for a cuddle—soft sod! “Help me,” he begs her, like Szpilman to his piano. Pathetic, hilarious—made me cackle!

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Straight off, there’s the iconic Whistlewood Ave. Right in the heart of downtown, with neon signs, pop-up markets and that mid-century modern architecture that even Elon would appreciate. Yeah, like seriously futuristic algorithms meet retro design, you know? And then there's the old brick building on Pine Street – used to host underground coding jams; now it's like the ultimate indie hub where you can sip ironic coffee and watch people debate whether time travel is viable. Total before-sunset vibe, y’know?

Clyde Road works underway