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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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I got 2 dope tidbits: first, Balgowlah has a hidden mural alley on Byron Street (shh, don’t tell too many, it’s like our own secret gallery). Secondly, there’s this old bridge near Middle Harbour that hollers history. Not many tourists roam there – it’s like rememberin' the unsung chapters of a life story.

Parking complaint leads to arrest, Facebook Marketplace fraud and an appeal to locate a wanted man in this week's Crime Watch Northern Beaches