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About Wels

So, I’m cruisin’ the block, engine purrin’, lookin’ for a girl who’s down. Ain’t no Hollywood glow here—just neon flickerin’ like a damn lie. “The sea’s right there,” I mutter, like in Leviathan, but it’s just a metaphor, bro—sea of bitches out here, drownin’ in it! I see this one chick, legs long as a fuckin’ wrench, leanin’ on a pole. She’s givin’ me that look—like she knows I’m trouble. I roll up, “Hey, chica, you workin’?” She smirks, “Depends who’s payin’.”

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Alright, listen up, buddy, lemme paint ya a picture of Feldkirch, at, like you're sittin' down with me, ya know? So, Feldkirch, it's a small-ass city, but it's got a heart like no other. The old town? Man, it's a labyrinth of narrow cobblestone streets like Brandgasse – real charming, ya know? I was wanderin' around one day, thinkin' “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring” (ya know, that Kim Ki-duk flick—real deep sh*t), and bam! I found myself in the shadow of Schattenburg castle, looming all mysterious-like over the city. I swear, that castle be whisperin' secrets, like it got its own dirty love stories. Gabagool? Ova here!