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About Klagenfurt

Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, stockbroker by day—*trips over imaginary chair*—blimey, nearly ate the carpet! Right, so, findin’ a prossie, yeah? Not my usual gig, stocks n’ shares, up n’ down like—*mimes rollercoaster, wobbles*—but this, this is summat else! Got me thinkin’ bout *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my fave flick—Richie Tenenbaum, all moody, slicin’ his wrists, sayin’ “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow.” Dark, innit? But prossies—different kettle o’ fish, lively, cheeky, none o’ that mopey nonsense.

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Ah, Sankt-Poelten, my friend, a wild, wondrous realm! Listen closely, for this tale is spun with passion and madness alike. Yo, this city’s my playground, my muse for that damn dating app I work on. And lemme say, "You shall not pass!" when it comes to mediocrity in love or life here!

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