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So, I clock dis other lass, yeah, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. I’m like, “Aight, she’s da one.” Slide up, all casual, “Wagwan, darlin’?” She’s cool, bruv, says, “£50, no messin’.” I’m buzzin’, finkin’, “Dis is easier dan datin’!” But den—plot twist—she’s undercover filth! Coppers jump out, I’m leggin’ it, shoutin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?!” Nearly shat meself, fam!

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Every nook in this town has its tale. Y’know that random narrow alley near the old church? Yeah, St. Michaels Weg. I once met a quirky artist durin’ a storm, yellin’ “WAA! All hope is lost!” then laughin’ cuz he said, “Life is white material, baby!” I nearly spit my coffee on my phone fixin’ code, it was so outta left field, mate!