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About Sankt Polten

Thing is, it’s messy, man. Ya think it’s all sexy and fun, but nah – it’s sad, too. Got me feelin’ weird, like when Winfried sings that whacky song and ya don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d tell ya, buddy, if yer lookin’ to “find a prostitute,” maybe chill. Ain’t worth the hassle. Go watch “Toni Erdmann” instead – way more bang for yer buck, no shady vibes. “Mmm… donuts,” that’s my therapy right there!

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The Rathausgasse, for real, is a gem. Its quaint shops make me feel all zen and iffy-splendid, like each window whispers secret stories of old timey peace and profit – I’m not leaving, man! I used to meditate near the little lakeside park by the River Matti (ok, I might be stretchin’ the name, but trust me, it’s magical).