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Rarrgh! Fun fact—Victorian whores used lemons! Yep, cut ‘em up, stuffed ‘em down there—birth control, bro! Saw that in a sketchy pdf online—nearly spat my drink! Imagine the sting—oww, fuck! Bet they waddled funny after. “Ten” don’t show that, but damn, that prossie’d laugh her ass off hearin’ it.

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."