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About Innsbruck

What pisses me off? The owner, this greasy dude, actin’ all high and mighty. “Oh, we’re legit!” Screw you, pal! I’m pokin’ around, findin’ condoms in the trash—hundreds, man, hundreds! Makes me gag, but I’m laughin’ too, ‘cause it’s so nasty it’s funny. “The power of Christ compels you!” I shout, like I’m in *Melancholia*, facin’ the freakin’ endtimes. This place is a disaster waitin’ to happen—fire hazard, STD central, you name it.

Items from the City of Landeck (Lower Silesia)

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."