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About Salzburg

So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.

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The neighborhoods? Oh man. Down by Donnergasse, where life buzzes non-stop – little shops, quirky diners, and that epic mural I snapped a pic of for our app’s promo. Sometimes, when work bugs me (and trust me, it does a LOT), I skate over to Klostergasse. That little secret nook lets me clear my head – scenic, calm, a hidden gem I wasn’t even supposed to know, lol.