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D’oh! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, it’s all slippery hands and weird vibes, right? Reminds me of that freaky movie, *The Headless Woman*—y’know, my fave! That scene where she’s all dazed, floatin’ through life? That’s me after a good rubdown, heh! “What did I hit?” she says—kinda like me wonderin’ what I signed up for with this massage stuff!

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I’m like, “Seriously? A bush?” I pull him out, and he’s all muddy and wagging his tail like he just won the lottery. I’m feeling like a hero, right? I take him back to his owner, and the dude is crying. Like, full-on tears. I’m just standing there, awkwardly patting the dog. “Yeah, no biggie, just doing my job.”

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