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About Wellington

Tell ya what, it’s not just for blokes either – birds love it too, equal opps innit! Me mate Sharon, she’s all, “Dave, it’s better than a shag!” – I’m like, steady on, love, but fair play. Costs a bob or two, mind – last one stung me wallet harder than a dodgy printer toner scam. Worth it though, cos when them hands get goin’, slippin’ and slidin’, I’m thinkin’, “There will be bliss!” – not blood, nah, just pure class.

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Next thing I know, my phone’s buzzin’ like crazy. “Fire at the Mount!” they say. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” So, I grab my gear and head out. The traffic on Cameron Rd is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind some dude who’s clearly never heard of a turn signal. I’m yellin’ at my windshield, “C’mon, man! We’re not in a parade!”

First XV wrap: Tauranga Boys' dish out a Grammar lesson in historic win