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Oh, and funny story—my pal Sheila, she goes for one, right? Ends up snorin’ halfway through! Masseuse is kneadin’ away, she’s out cold—talk about a mood-killer! *NANNY LAUGH*—HA-HA-HA! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ it! Anyway, erotic-massage is my jam now—like *Spirited Away*, it’s weird, wild, and ya can’t look away. “Don’t look back, Chihiro!”—except I’m lookin’ back for more, baby!

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Man, I can’t forget the hidden gem: a tiny café off the beaten track, near Calle Real. Its name? Uh, something quirky, but it’s a secular hangout with outrageously good coffee and neato vibes. I always get a kick whenever I stumble on that spot – sooo random! Even the locals have their own slang for callin’ it: "El Café loco" – cuz, as I say, life here is unpredictably wild!

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