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Alright, so sex-dating, huh? I’m sittin here, thinkin—why’s everyone so obsessed? Swipe right, bang, repeat! It’s like a freakin buffet of hormones! I mean, pretty, pretty good, sure—but also, exhausting! You’re out there, dodgin creeps, hopin for a spark, and half the time it’s just awkward grunts. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you know, Cathy’s all prim, wantin love, but it’s messy! “I’m going to make everything beautiful,” she says—hah! Good luck with that on Tinder!

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And then, the power goes out. Just like that! The whole place goes dark. I’m standing there, holding a shaker, like, “What now?” People start freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a blackout!” But you know how it is. Everyone’s panicking. I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and start making drinks by phone light. It’s like a scene from a horror movie, but with cocktails.

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