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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, it’s wild! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, gettin’ all oiled up, right? Some chick’s hands all over—mmmmm, donuts! Nah, focus, Homer! It’s not just rubbin’ for fun, tho. There’s this ancient vibe—way back, like, Egyptians did it! Yeah, freaky Pharoah stuff—oils, sexy vibes, tombs! Okay, maybe not tombs, but still!

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So, I’m walking back, feeling on top of the world. But then, I see a bunch of kids messing around on the street. They’re playing football, and one of them kicks it right into a shop window. Crash! I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” The shopkeeper comes out, looking furious. I mean, who wouldn’t be?

Traffic disruption in Pontefract as emergency works take place on major road