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So, escort’s this job, yeah? Folks think it’s all glam, high heels, cash stacks. Nope. It’s gritty. Heard this story once—some chick in the 80s, escortin’ for a mob boss. Dude paid her in jewelry, then snagged it back! Shady as hell, made me mad. Like, keep the bling, jerk! She quit, vanished—smart move. Little known fact: escort’s been around forever. Romans had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—wolves. Howlin’ for coin, ha!

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So, I finally get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a big bite, and boom! I’m hit with this explosion of flavor. I’m in heaven, man. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my mici! Like, really? I’m fighting off a bird for my lunch now? I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a pigeon!” But inside, I’m dying of laughter.

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