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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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Feeling a bit better, I decide to hit the park by the Pekel-Aa. It’s a nice spot, you know? I sit down, trying to enjoy the view. But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start playing soccer. They’re running around, kicking the ball everywhere. One of them kicks it right at me! I’m dodging like I’m in the World Cup. I mean, come on! Can’t a potter catch a break?

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