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Anyway, I’m ramblin’—shocker! Point is, erotic massage? Wild ride. Little known story—heard some dude in the ‘70s turned it into a “therapy” trend in California. Hippies loved it! Figures, right? Free love, baby! Me? I’m just sittin’ here, neurotic, wonderin’ if I’d freak out mid-session. “Too much oil! Too much eye contact!” But deep down? I’m curious. It’s primal, it’s art—like *Only Lovers* vibes. “Tell me now of the delights,” Eve’d say. And I’d nod, “Pretty, pretty good delights.” What about you, huh? You tried it? Spill!

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But then, she pulls out the big guns. “I heard there’s a new dumpling place on Minquan Road.” Dumplings? I’m in! We bolt out of the office like we’re escaping a fire.

President Lai opens Taiwan Lantern Festival