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Yo, dude, lemme tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”! It’s wild, man! I was shocked, like, totally. Did ya know in ancient China, they used it for, like, health? Crazy, right? I’m talkin’ Tang Dynasty vibes, not just, ya know, rubbin’ for fun. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause, like, it’s art, not just sleaze. But some places? Ugh, so sketchy, it pisses me off! Like, “Requiem for a Dream,” man, that desperation? Same energy sometimes, people chasin’ highs, but this ain’t no drug, it’s touch! I’m all, “I’m somebody now, everybody likes me!” from the movie, but, like, chill, it’s just a massage, not a life change.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a ball, and BAM! He knocks over an old lady’s shopping. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” So, I rush over to help her. She’s all flustered, and I’m trying to pick up her stuff, but I’m also trying not to look like a total klutz.

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