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Here’s a kicker—met this gal once, masseuse, hands like a wizard. She says, “Joe, it’s therapy, not sin!” Blew my mind—therapy? I’m sold! But then—anger hits—some jerk shut her place down, called it “shady.” Shady my ass, she was gold! Look, sexual-massage ain’t just naughty bits—it’s tension leavin’, shoulders droppin’, soul sighin’. Like Carlos says, “It’s a game of nerves,” and boy, them nerves get played!

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So, I’m laughing, and then I get another call. “We need backup at the park!” I’m like, “What now?” I pedal over to the park, and there’s a flash mob. A flash mob! In Bytča! I can’t even. They’re dancing to some pop song, and I’m just standing there, trying to figure out if I should join in or call for backup.

Slovak fascist party second-strongest in polls, yet another protest forces its rally to relocate