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About Slavonski Brod

So, erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s all ‘bout them oiled-up hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine. Not your granny’s backrub, naw sir! I heard tell of this joint in Vegas—$200 an hour, happy endin’ guaranteed. Made me madder’n a wet hen—why ain’t I cashin’ in? But then, I’m tickled pink thinkin’ ‘bout it. Them masseuses? Artists, I tell ya! Like Sara Goldfarb mixin’ her pills, they got a rhythm—slow, then fast, teasin’ ya ‘til you’re screamin’ “I’m so excited, I’m so scared!” Straight outta the movie, y’all.

Nos services

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So, I’m limpin’ along, and I see this cute little café, “Café Duga.” I thought, “Hey, why not grab a coffee?” I walk in, and it’s packed. I mean, like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, I spot a free table. YES! I plop down, order my coffee, and just as I’m about to take a sip, some dude spills his drink all over my work apron. Like, seriously? I’m a cooper, not a mop!

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