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Lemme tell y’all a story—my nephew tried that sex-datin app, got catfished so bad he showed up with roses for a chick who turned out to be a dude named Bubba. I laughed so hard I near bout peed myself! “Reality’s what you make it, huh, baby?”—that’s me quotin *Inception* while wipin tears. He was hot—steam comin outta his ears! I said, “Next time, check the damn profile!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vytauto street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a coffee and a šakotis. I mean, who can resist that? But then, the barista—let’s call her “Coffee Queen”—totally messed up my order. I got a black coffee instead of my usual caramel latte. Ugh! I was like, “Do I look like I drink black coffee?” But whatever, I chugged it down. Gotta fuel up, right?

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