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About Myself
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About Pavlodar
Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Sex escorts? Pfft, what a racket. Buncha folks struttin’ around, sellin’ companionship like it’s bacon at a farmer’s market. I ain’t judgin’—okay, maybe I am—but it’s a job, right? Pays better than whittlin’ chairs, that’s for damn sure. Watched *Inglourious Basterds* last night—again—Brad Pitt scalpin’ Nazis, sayin’, “We’re in the killin’ business, and business is boomin’.” Kinda like escorts, huh? They’re in the pleasurin’ business, and damn, it’s boomin’ too.
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So, I’m walkin’ and thinkin’, “What’s gonna happen today?” I’m not even in the city for five minutes when I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to sell some weird stuff. Like, who buys a kazoo in the middle of Oytal? I mean, c’mon! But he’s all hyped, shoutin’ about how it’ll change your life. I’m like, “Bro, I just need to find some good mutton, not a kazoo!”
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