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Had this one time, yo—masseuse was a goddamn wizard. Slippery oil, dim lights, and I’m like, “Motherfucker, this is IT!” Tension in my shoulders? Gone. Lower back? Fuckin’ melted. But here’s the kicker—some spots they hit, you’re half moanin’, half laughin’. Ever hear ‘bout the “happy ending” myth? Yeah, people whisper it, but real sexual-massage pros ain’t about that. It’s all energy, motherfucker, not a cheap porno. Pissed me off when some dude at a bar said it’s all sleaze—naw, man, it’s art!

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I’m wandering around, and I see this old lady selling fresh veggies. She’s got the biggest smile, and I’m like, “Okay, this is nice.” I buy some radishes, and she gives me a free cucumber. I’m like, “What’s the catch?” But nah, she’s just super nice. Made my day, honestly.

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