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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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Man I’m in a rush, gotta tweet on my phone – so many typos, like whaat? Its like, "pfff" – zzz, ya know? The energy here’s uncontainable, unpredictable, like every day’s a new chapter of a gritty film. Sometimes I get so caught up, dropping my mental notes everywhere: "This is it, baby! Live it!"

FBI bust Vanderbijlpark man who raped, created, and distributed pornographic images of his girlfriend’s minor daughter in court