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About Nelspruit

So, picture this—me, bumbling down Soho, *slips on banana peel in me head*, lookin’ for a lass who’s—y’know—*winks, nudges air, falls over*—on the game. Ain’t like pickin’ stocks, no charts, no “buy low, sell high.” Nah, it’s all dodgy glances, quick chats—*mumbles*—“how much, love?” Felt like Chas Tenenbaum, all stressed, yellin’ “We’ve got to get out of here!” ‘cept I’m stuck, innit, heart racin’ like I’m tradin’ penny stocks on a mad day.

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Let me drop some insider gossip: there’s a hidden wine cellar in the outskirts that only locals know. Grab a cheeky glass there, dish out your deepest secrets. It’s oddly therapeutic, says a psych like me. Not to mention the Street Market on Sundays at Everard Square – odd, bustling, sometimes making my brain burn from sensory overload! But it’s fun, man, fun!

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