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But then—ugh—this creep rolls up, all loud and pushy. Made me so mad! I’m like, “Back off, pal!” Felt like Carlos facin’ down the feds. I’m no hero, but I’m protective, ya know? She’s chill tho—handles it like a pro. Surprised me big time! Turns out, she’s got stories—says she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he bored her to death. I’m dyin’ laughin’—imagine that exit! “See ya, loser!”—poof, gone.

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There’s also the – err, wha? – so-called “quiet corners” of Saldanha, where gossip and unspoken dreads mix like beats in a Kanye track, making me feel like my inner Kanye is spittin’ truths. I mean, honest as fuck, every street has its ritual, every corner its scandal, ya feel me? Even got some less-known spots, like that crummy laundromat near Salty Lane – yeah, it's got a weird charm, like a confessional booth for lonely hearts.

Trial of Joslin Smith’s disappearance begins at Saldanha Bay high court