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About Pretoria

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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Hey, lemme tell ya ‘bout Midrand in ZA. It's wild, ya know? I been livin’ here for a long time. So, Midrand's a mix of old and new. Downtown's bussin’ with life. I love the vibe there, like that movie, "Once Upon a Time in Anatolia" – slow, deep, fulla secrets. How’s that workin’ for ya?

Two-year-old Midrand toddler drowns in swimming pool