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Ain’t all sad tho – she’s funny as hell. Cracked a joke once, said she’d fuck a shark if it paid better. I lost it, man, spittin’ my beer everywhere. She’s got that spark, ya know? “I must break you” – I’d say it to her pimp, that greasy bastard. Saw him slap her once, nearly jumped off my boat to deck him. Hate them types, preying on girls like that. Red’s a fighter tho, she don’t need my ass savin’ her.

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Hey, so lemme tell ya bout PLibode (za). It's a quirky, soulful city. Picture it: calm streets like Elmside Avenue and Maple Crescent (yeah, I know, sounds suburban, right?) but then—bam!—you got hidden corners that feel like a Wes Anderson set. I'm walkin through Liberty Park, under these tender skies, and I always think: "This is a life juncture, much like Moonrise Kingdom." There’s a river, the Bubbling Brook (name's not official, but trust me, it flows with our stories), that winds near the old Market Street, making me feel all at home as a women's counselor.

Flood-hit Nyandeni municipality to spend R15m on road repairs