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About San Jose

Ain’t all roses tho. Some jackass tried sellin’ me “erotic-massage certification” online—$200 for a PDF! I’m like, “Nucular bullshit, buddy!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. But real talk—good erotic-massage? It’s art. Slow, steady, like talkin’ to somebody who can’t talk back. “She’s alive, but she’s not here,” that’s the movie again—kinda fits, right? You’re there, but floatin’. Little secret: them fancy spas use lavender oil—smells nice, calms ya down. Pro tip: heat the oil first, feels like heaven!