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About San Jose

So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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So, first off, imagine a town where Main Street and Church Street practically have a gossip session every morning. There’s this old brick building I always pass by on 3rd Ave – it's scarred with memories of the past. Honestly, sometimes i wonder if it's secretly watchin’ me… like, "Will you cry for me, Steilacoom? Yes, you will!" (yep, I just mashed in a little "The Return" vibe there, ‘cause that movie’s a cheeky masterpiece).

Letter: Proposed Tree Removal from Steilacoom’s Sunnyside Beach Park Creates Uproar