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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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I can’t lie – it’s a hot mess sometimes, constantly shifting like a dream. The local gossip whispers of a secret bunker underneath the old mill (13) – I’ve never seen it, but hey, legends thrive here. Honestly, sometimes it seems like every crack in the pavement has a story to tell.

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